I got engaged to my girlfriend of two years during our holiday in Europe. It wasn’t planned, I just woke up beside her one day and decided it was time. My fiancée immediately called her mum to tell her what had happened and then she spoke to her dad as well, we both did. They seemed genuinely happy for us and also prayed for us. We continued our two weeks holiday but things went sour two days before it was over
My fiancée’s brother called her to let her know her dad said I had disrespected him. I had gone ahead to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage without talking to him first. I was shocked! It never occurred to me to make a phone call to him first before proposing. Also, everyone knew the only destination for us was marriage so hearing that my father-in-law to be was angry confused me
Obviously my fiance was distraught, she could not enjoy the holiday anymore and her father refused to speak with her on the phone, she just wanted to go home. Gradually I began to get really angry, this lady didn’t deserve what she was gong through, if her father had a problem with me, he should have discussed with me or my parents, now the holiday was ruined for her
When we got back to Abuja, I took her straight home, even though I was angry, I tucked it away for my baby’s sake and went on to apologise to her father. He was having none of it, so I left their house and made up my mind there was more to what was happening and if this is how he can get over such happy news, I’m not sure I want him as a father in law
Things got messier when he asked my fiancée to stop wearing the engagement ring. So she would only wear it when she’s out of the house and take it off when she’s almost home. My dad has also tried to speak with him but he’s insisting he was disrespected and we all need to be patient until he gets over it.
DANG! How ridiculous is this? I am mad at him for not thinking about how unhappy this is making his daughter. She has agreed to go ahead and marry me even without his consent but I would never do that to her. She loves her family, our marriage would never be whole if she was estranged from her father
It’s been two months now, we are still waiting, we can’t even make any plans because this man has practically put our lives on hold. Sometimes I try not to berate myself for not asking him first. It never occurred to me at all to do so as we were away.
Did I make a mistake? Is there something I should have done differently?